Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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