oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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