come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Randomize
