My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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