Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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