i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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