My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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