What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
