we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
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my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
What a dumb baby whore.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
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It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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