shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
