I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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