this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
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once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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