hotel room ftw
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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