your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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