what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
