There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
