Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
