Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
my poor anus
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
