you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize