bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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