Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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