she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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