I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
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