Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
