i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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