just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize