hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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