I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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