you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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