that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
