I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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