How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
