I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
