last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
