Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
