We got so high we made milksteak
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
