So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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