soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
