Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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