if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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