He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
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To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
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I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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