I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize