He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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