So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
