He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
