my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
