Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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