It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize