Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
