are you still at the devil's house?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
