do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
