It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
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Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
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Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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