She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize