I cockslap morals
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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