I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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