I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
